It's been more than a month since my first belt test, and I've been thinking in retrospect about what it meant to me to wear the white belt.
In a word: humility. The white belt for me was a constant reminder that I knew nothing, and that I should approach each lesson with an open mind and complete trust. This is not always easy, because even beginners have their own opinions on fighting and martial arts, some legitimate from previous first-hand experiences, others less legitimate and generated more from imagination than experience.
Personally I was in a potentially dangerous position from the fact that a long time ago, in a galaxy far away, I've been already studying karate. Even tho it really was a long time ago (more than 20 years!), my old teacher must have been very good because I remembered quite a lot. This caused me sometimes to want to start doing things in a certain way which I assumed was "right", and be told to do them differently. The truth is that there certainly isn't one only "right" way of doing, all others being "wrong", but rather there are different "right" ways in different contexts and tactics emphasized by each style. Sometimes I really had to "reprogram" myself into some positions or movements, especially if they happen in the background, because then you don't have much time to think about how you're doing them (an example of this was "hikite" i.e. the way the fist is retracted backwards along the body before delivering a punch, which is done in significantly different ways across karate styles).
I was actually lucky that the style I practiced back then (Shotokan) was different than our current style (Goju-ryu). This made it easier for me to ignore my previous knowledge without ever be tempted to unfairly question my old teacher. Each karate style has its own very good reasons for different technical choices, but what if you had been practicing the same style and the new teacher's instructions conflicted with those of the old teacher? If you forsake your previous sensei's teachings easily, does it mean you would just so easily dismiss what you're committing to today?
As a sort of legacy with my past, and also to show respect to my old teacher, I've decided not to buy a brand new yellow belt and instead wear the same one I've worn as a child (I went only that far, back then), which fortunately had never left my parents' house. It's also a way to tell myself that I've never really quitted karate, but just took a break from practicing (admittedly, a pretty long break) and that karate has always been a part of my life, lurking round the corner to lure me back on the tatami floor one day.
So now it's time to move on to the next stage, and the biggest challenge will be to maintain the same state of humility and humbleness. From now on there will be someone of lower rank that will come over looking for answers and suggestions. Not to mention that having now new things to learn doesn't mean I'm done with learning those of the previous rank. In fact I like saying that the difference between white and yellow is that while I still know nothing, additionally I am now aware of it. All of a sudden, this only very slightly darker belt feels much heavier than the other.
